IDI #1: Miriam Wild-Smith

Miriam Wild-Smith
CCA Graduate
writer for AAA's Via magazine
writer for comedy troupe "Killing My Lobster"

getting started is the worst possible thing in the world for me. In any case it's always a blank piece of paper--writing or art

I was in a long term relationship with art, and was dumped after I graduated from school [because finding a job as a "professional artist" didn't work for her]

I'm excited about having more space to do work. I used to be afraid about messing stuff up [in her old living space]--I like segregating work space and home space

I interviewed Miriam Wild-Smith on Saturday, September 12. She was my first interview, and I only had a loose interview guide, so the conversation was very organic.

Question 1: How are you creative?

• she's been drawing since she was like 4....and writing since the same age time...not the best writer when she was little
• She doesn't draw as much as she used to ...
• "when i had the time..."
• "i love to make...cards and stuff for people"

Question 2: why don't you draw as much as you used to?

• got burnt out,
• her life was painting and drawing.
• when she graduated, she just stopped.
• waited too long to start up again, not incorporated anymore
• transitioned from art to writing

Question 3: how is writing similar to art?

• it's a part of me that other people see--and chose to see. people are interested in seeing it. it speaks to them in the same way as art. ppl can appreciate it
• writing for the stage is a lot like art. visual art is a presentation.
• some times she forgets about her creations--she picked up a magazine and saw that she had an article inside. The article was a 2 page spread w/images, her name.

Question 4: why do you create stuff?

• bragging rights, showing off --> i am a pretty quiet person...but making stuff gives her confidence. she knows she's good--was she told by people or is she actually good? enough positive reinforcement to be a confidence builder
• passive way to show off...
• it's a lot of fun
• gives a sense of accomplishment
• she does it for other people too...what they appreciate...how much she can capture an image. she loves doing portraits
• does more for other people--she feels satisfaction when she hears people laugh at her writing

Question 5: when was the last time you made something?

• she can't really recall the last time she drew something...
• sense of accomplishment, i'm doing this, no one else is doing this
• making a frittata-for myself, for greg, it's tasty, delicious, great when its finished. pulling raw ingredients together and making something new
• last piece-she was worried about doing it
• she didn't know the people, they paid for it.
• she tried really hard
• happy when it's done

Question 6: what's the hardest part of making something?

• getting started is the worst possible thing in the world for me. in any case it's always a blank piece of paper--writing or art
• nothing is there
• why can't i just be done? she knows it will end
• anticipation is the worse part about...knowing how it will turn out
• hard time starting things
  
• there's a tipping point :she'll get an idea in her head, she'll go over it in her head, she can picture all these parts of it, it sounds fun. if she doesn't get started at the exact moment she gets excited about it, she no longer wants to do it
• trouble starting things--associates both writing and art with work. she used to draw for leisure..
• doing art for work has transitioned it from a hobby to a "have to do"
• she doesn't think she'll ever want to stop writing. is writing her new, fun fling.
• starting things: mental blocks, fear of something not turning out, fear of failure "what if i start on this and it doesn't turn out the way i envision it in my head" which is one of the main things that holds people back, creatively.
• fear that something won't turn out as expected--what if other people don't like it.
• i do things for myself, but secretly I want other ppl to like it
• time--i get so absorbed into things i start working on, i need to set aside huge blocks of time to do things...4 hours have gone by. so why bother getting started if i need hours
• half way through it
• she loves it, even when she gets started. the act of taking my hand and making it move and having something coming out of it "my energy is creating this"
• identifies with a pen, not a keyboard
• when she's done: super accomplished, happy
• she never stops until she is pleased with it--she either gives up completely, or carries through to the end.
• bits and pieces of the making process can get scary and frustrating...i'm in control because I know that i am.
• she hasn't been motivated at all, since she graduated from college, to do art work except for a sketchbook of dreams (she's interested in her own subconscious and drawing things from her imagination). relaxing and fun. it was my own time, not anyone else's
• comedy writing- for other people and making herself laugh

Question 7: what type of sensory experience do you associate with making something?

• dehydration and discomfort-she'll sit somewhere and ignore that she has to start something "i'm thirsty, but if i get up, that means I have to start it"
• sound: greg tells her to do it
• dreams lead her to draw
• food- good, always
• the smell of bean and cheese burritos w/jalapenos and spinach tortillas make her think of her illustration class
• omelettes make her think of her thesis class
• music- if she doesn't have good music, she can't do anything
• "lord of the rings got me through college"- would play in the background, would use movie length to track her time
• sounds-get her going and motivated for art, giver her something to focus on instead of the blank thing in front of her--also inspiring since it's something someone else created. catchy, entertaining
• writing-she needs total silence. no music in the background

End of the Interview...Basic Conversation

• she feels bad that she stopped...people ask her when will she start again
• disenchanted and burnt out
• when she was younger, she was told that she was good at art--but nothing else. they could see she was good at it, she was told to go into art--take the talent and turn it into a money making thing,
• she thought that she could be a full time artist, doing what she liked to do for work. she wanted to be an animator at disney. you have to start off as an inker, ppl don't get paid, then computers took over. in college she thought she should do illustrations because she also likes writing...but she felt like she didn't know how to get a job. She had no idea how to get a paying job as an artist. 4 hours of a biz class
• got out of school and there were no jobs, she didn't know what an art job even was--how did she think she'd get a job? had vague ideas of what it meant to be a professional artist
• associates art with disappointment. a big let down for her. every time she paints or draws she thinks of it as an example of how the world let her down!
• she knows she could still do it if she wanted to. she is still an artist
• in a long term relationship with art, was dumped after she graduated from school
• still fantasizes about going to blick, getting a big canvas, going to town--she makes lots of stupid excuses to herself. a money thing as well--her parents would pay for her art supplies and now she has to pay for them and it's less appealing -- bs excuses (no money, no time, no car) BUT if she had the drive and motivation she could do it right now...she has other priorities now--house, running, etc.
• she used to not exercise, now priorities have shifted
• she is excited about having more space to do work. she used to be afraid about messing stuff up--she likes segregating work space and home space
• she hopes to use the downstairs office to paint and stuff